Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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