I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize