She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
