He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
