i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm both gender and math confused
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
