So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
