the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize