Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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