plz talk dirty to me
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
