I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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