So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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