i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
