SEEEEXXX PLEASE
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
