remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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