Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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