I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
