on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
