have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize