Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
