Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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