So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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