Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
foreskin is a definite game changer
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
