I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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