Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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