Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize