Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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