the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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