I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
