I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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