You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
