i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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