At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
