Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Randomize
