I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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