Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
