He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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