If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
