Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
