we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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