i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
