worst night to have a conscience
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
