No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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