'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't deserve a penis
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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