This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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