I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
