Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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