shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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