Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
