Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize