i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize