and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
