its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize