you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I want her autograph on my taint
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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