so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
