can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
