I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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