If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize