he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
