Don't make out with my wife yet
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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