Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
