Will you blow on my dice?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
