i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize