Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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