I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
